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fuckass nightmare

tuesday, 6th january 2026

got drunk last night. fell asleep at some point. had a nightmare and nwo i need to talk about it.

the nightmare was about someone who groomed(?) me when i was 11. we'll call her ray. i thought i was over it al but apparently not!!!!!!

it started as me reaching out to her again. something ive never done. ive reached out to 2/3 of my main groomers but not her. wwe talked fro a bit. shesaid she stil wanted me. it felt so fuckign real annd i dont knowhow to deal with it. ithink sheh wanted me t cheat onmy boyfridn in the dream??? idontn knnow i dont KNOW. idont know why ihad this nightmare i donnt know i thoiguht i was Over it i thought i was FINE i dont get it and iddid a tarot readign and it just made me feel worse snd now i dont know what to do and my therpaist is making our weekly sesions into fortnightly and. brother my ass is gonna be in The Forest (metaphor reference ill explain soemdya) andd ohmyogd i was alrezyd doing bad why did THIS have to hapen i justwanted to drink snd havbe a nice nap waht the fuck ohmygod

i dont know WHY this ngithmare happened and thhats the scariedt part. usually my nightmares are shit that Has hapened. or friends dying. thiswasnt either of them. idont get it i dotn understand WHY WHY WHY ohmygod

why does it still haunt me

not felin g up to this but here you go a song!!!!!!

thanykou for humorign me?????? ig eus